Cars I Do Hate. Vol. 2

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch)
04/24/2017 at 10:00 • Filed to: Cars I do hate

hear me out. I don’t hate this [v12] GT because of how it looks, or because of excess. I hate this car because its full of broken promises and lies.

Its a V12 wrapped up by a sexy body and they sold well so they are easy to find used. Searching through those used car books you could get at gas stations as a teen, even 20 years ago, they were tantalizingly withing my financial grasp. That’s the rub. Why? Cause they were crap. drove like crap, ran like crap, wore like crap. They were priced what they were worth and there were promises being made by that exotic sounding engine in the ad and the fabulous body that looked great even rendered in poor DPI black ink on gray paper.

I don’t hate this car because of what it was, I hate it because it made me feels things before I knew better.

People better than I have made this craigslist special work for them. My hat’s off to them.

DISCUSSION (30)

Nibby > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:01

I BELIEVED YOUR PROMISES, YOUR PROMISES AND LIES!

TERRIBLE LIE!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:05

Dat budget V12 potential, tho.

Honeybunchesofgoats > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:08

How DARE YOU

fintail > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:14

Those buttresses though, and the interior.

These also have a fun rep for spontaneous combustion.

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
04/24/2017 at 10:18

Exactly. All that cheap promise... Miles away

My citroen won't start > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:18

I urge you to watch Harry’s Garage video about the XJS

PartyPooper2012 > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:24

I was inches away from buying one last year. Thank god that thing was a total loss or else I would have bought it.

Doing a bit of search reveals you cannot find any performance upgrades

Doing a bit more research you find that once the car is stopped, parked and turned off, heat sits in the engine bay for a long time and makes all the wires brittle and prone to cracking and shorting

In my case, guy was selling a convertible v12. He let it sit outside in northeast for several years with busted top. Inside all moldy and rusty. Dash busted. Window busted. Roof busted. Drove like shit. Idled like shit.

I dodged a bullet with that one.

LongbowMkII > My citroen won't start
04/24/2017 at 10:28

Hmm if a multimillionaire can do it, so can anyone!

Textured Soy Protein > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:30

(Flamesuit on)

That’s how I felt after I drove a BMW 850i.

Kinja'd!!!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:34

Yes but just listen to it

I think the big issue was that Jaguar marketed it as a sporty replacement for the E-Type when really it was more of a GT car. The car still delivered, it just didn’t deliver what was promised.

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
04/24/2017 at 10:38

What you’re saying is “remember how hot your crazy ex was? So hot right? You have to regret letting that go...I mean she tried to kill you that once, and she emptied your bank account and left you stranded pretty much all the time...I mean, she was smoking hot though.”

benjrblant > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 10:58

I don’t hate this car because of what it was, I hate it because it made me feels things before I knew better.

Spot on. This applies to so many things...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 11:01

You can make them handle, it just takes a lot of man hours. The auspension is comprised of approximately 8 million bushings and apparently nothing else. They’re known for perishing long before they should. Replace them all with poly units and stiffen the springs and they’ll ride & handle with the best of them.

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 11:08

A family friend owned one from new. It looked exactly like the one in the picture you used. Damn thing was broken down CONSTANTLY. He ended up putting far more miles on the ‘62 Oldsmobile he inherited than the Jag.

shop-teacher > Textured Soy Protein
04/24/2017 at 11:13

Take the suit off, because your right. My uncle owned one from new. He’s a partner at a big law firm, makes tons of money, but he usually keeps his cars for a long time. He buys nice cars and takes care of them. He offed the 850i though in record time. I only actually saw him drive it once. The Lexus SC400 he replaced it with, that he kept for like 13 or 14 years.

For Sweden > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 11:18

A guy with a Land Cruiser hates everything English.

hmmmm

HammerheadFistpunch > For Sweden
04/24/2017 at 11:20

That not true, I love english muffins.

McMike > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
04/24/2017 at 11:26

I think the big issue was that Jaguar marketed it as a sporty replacement for the E-Type when really it was more of a GT car. The car still delivered, it just didn’t deliver what was promised.

Honestly, the E-Type it replaced wasn’t much of a sporty car anymore.

Textured Soy Protein > shop-teacher
04/24/2017 at 11:31

I still love how they look but it was underwhelming to drive, even with a stick shift. The one I drove wasn’t in the best shape but even in perfect working order it’s still probably meh.

Your boy, BJR > HammerheadFistpunch
04/24/2017 at 11:33

I think they’re ugly.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > McMike
04/24/2017 at 11:40

Maybe not at the end of its cycle but it outpaced Ferraris when it was launched

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
04/24/2017 at 11:41

This. People came to the XJS expecting a sports car, not a GT.

I still plan to get one and turn it into a sports car, but that’s by-the-by :) you don’t buy a car from the 70s (which is what the XJS actually is, regardless of whether you could still buy one in ‘92) without expecting to do a little work on it to bring it up to the expectations of something more modern (cars came on leaps and bounds between the 70s and the 90s).